Here is a question I recently decided to answer:
My mom is ultra conservative in her actions. Like, I know she does care for me and everything. However, she has always told me my husband #1 has to be a Muslim man (which I agree with, and it’s what I want too)…and #2 he has to have a powerful position (to her it means either a doctor or a pharmacist because those jobs can withstand the economy bc everyone needs a doctor or a pharmacist even w/ low income)I met this really great guy, and he is a really good Muslim guy from Jordan…and for the first time, I feel like I am actaully attracted to someone who is Muslim and my race (all my life I have been attracted to white guys just cause of preference, and all arab or muslim guys that were into me, I just didn’t feel a connection with.
I feel like I could love him, and even more, he is suitable for marriage. I have never felt like this before. However, if it gets to that point, I know my mom might say no. He finished his degree in Business, and now is the manager of Hollister. I know he is ambitious and is planning to workhis way up in the corporate world, but I don’t think my parents can see such a thing. All they know is either a doctor or pharmacist or no one.
Has anyone been put in a position where their mother or father refused their daughters hand in marriage because the guys position wasn’t “up to par”?? I will marry him, at least I want to..I DO see the future and I know between mine and his job we will live a comfortable life. But my mom and dad seem so closed minded.
Isn’t it better that he is a good Muslim in society? This is the first time my heart has been so open to a Muslim guy. What would you do in my situation? In the future is there a way to convince? What about eloping? (I wouldnt want to elope, but I can’t sacrifice my true love bc my mom doesn’t think his job is good enough for me.)
PS–I am an independent girl, meaning I have a good education and wouldnt want to rely on my husband for money anyway. Please help me!!!
Anyways, on to your question. I can’t stress this point enough: You can’t help who you fall in love with. It would be nice if we could all pick and choose exactly who we would fall in love with, and how much money they had, and what job they had, etc. But I think we all know it just doesn’t work out that way.
The real question is if a person makes you happy enough to want to spend the rest of your life with them. That is the most important thing. Forget about money, wealthy, etc. You both have the same faith, which is something you want, and you are attracted to him. I say go for it and see what happens. Maybe it works, maybe not. But if it works, his job should be the last thing on your mind (especially since you are independent).
About your parents- of course they want what is best. But they need to remember that you can’t look at someone’s job right now. You have to look at people for what they can be, not what they are right now. Parent’s forget that sometimes.
Let me give you an example: Say they lived in the time of Muhammed, before Muhammad had his vision from God. They might have said, “Don’t marry him, he isn’t a pharmacist.” But look at what he did. He changed the world quite a bit didn’t he! Same thing with Moses, Jesus, etc. These prophets all had almost no education (or very little). Some were even poor for most of their lives. Yet they changed the world in their lifetimes. God raised them up to be great leaders, and they will be in history forever. You have to look at what people can be, not what they are. This guy you are dating could one day turn out to be a wealthy and prominent business guy or something (you never know what life will bring).
Or would your parents be happy if you did marry a pharmacist, but he constantly cheated on you, beat you, was mean to you, etc. NO. That wouldn’t be best. You need someone that loves you for you and treats you well.
Also, God (Allah) jugdes people by their heart, not their wealth, beauty, jobs, status, etc. Only the nature of the heart. Don’t forget that!