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Wow-marriage, divorce, and adultery seem to be “THE ISSUES” of today. It seems that out of hundreds of posts, those are the most viewed pages, and the most asked about topic recently. Furthermore, I received yet another question regarding the whole adultery divorce issue. Here is the question:

Your website says God allows for divorce in the case of adultery. What about Hosea and Gomer? Didn’t God send Hosea after his adulterous wife?

-Lucretia

First of all, I would like to thank you for your question Lucretia! I really appreciate you taking the time to ask, and I hope God is blessing you in your life. I will specifically address your question, and talk a little about the whole issue. First, let me clear up a couple of things:

1. I believe in marriage. I am a happily married man, and the only thing that will end my marriage is death (not divorce).
2. I believe in God’s plan for marriage, and also his rules.
3. Having been a victim of divorced parents, I don’t particularly like divorce.
4. Divorces carry terrible consequences for anyone who decides to get one (financial, mental, physical). People should avoid divorces like the swine flu! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

With that being said, I need to correct one slight thing: You said in your question: “Your website says God allows for divorce in the case of adultery.”

I need to correct that, because it doesn’t matter what my website says, it matters what God says. I didn’t make the rules for marriage, divorce, and adultery. God made the rules. The only thing my website does is discuss these passages in the Bible, and offer additional commentary.  The bible quite clearly lays out grounds for a biblical divorce (my website isn’t needed to say that, the bible says it well enough on its own). Jesus own lips say it in a very direct way. There is no more my website needs to add to make it any more or less valid.

What Did Jesus Say About Divorce In Adultery?

Jesus says this very clear-cut remark with his own lips:

But I say to you, any man who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31)

It doesn’t matter which copy of the Bible you pick up, check it out for yourself. Jesus said that. He clearly says that a divorce is a sin because it causes someone to commit adultery, UNLESS adultery/sexual immorality has been committed. In that case, a divorce is acceptable.

In other words, if Bobby committed adultery against his wife (Suzy), Suzy has the OPTION (not requirement) to divorce Bobby. It would not be a sin in that situation, because Jesus is clearly saying Suzy doesn’t have to put up with Bobby’s cheating ways. Jesus makes this abundantly clear in the passage above.

Furthermore, in the Old Testament God allowed Moses to declare a certificate of divorce for any man who wanted to put away his wife due to uncleanliness.

Jesus references this law in the New Testament, and says that God only allowed it at the time because “of the hardness of their hearts.” He goes on to say that it wasn’t always this way, and what God puts together, no man should put apart.

However, he makes it clear that if a spouse breaks the bonds of marriage by being adulterous, the other spouse is not REQUIRED to remain in marital bonds. They can choose to end the marriage in divorce. Again, this is an option, not a requirement or command.

Even the apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 that:

15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

So God dictates in the OT rules for an appropriate divorce, Jesus reiterates God’s rules for a biblical divorce in the New Testament, and Paul even further says we are not forced to stay with a spouse who is “unbelieving or sinning against us and God.”

So I just want to make it clear: These aren’t my ideas of a marriage. These are God’s ideas for a marriage, as dictated in the Bible. He would have us remain faithful and loyal and happy our entire life. God hates divorce. It is never his plan. However, humans have a way of messing up God’s plans. Therefore, God does allow for divorce in extreme situations of marital infidelity/sin.

Divorce is one option that is granted in the situation of a “mess up” by another spouse. Again, it is important to realize that divorce is not REQUIRED, but it is OPTIONAL in the situations the bible deems and defines as appropriate.

I get a lot of questions concerning this, such as Is Adultery forgivable? The truth is, any sin is forgivable if we repent. If not, we are all in trouble! But back to your question. You asked about Hosea and Gomer.

But What About Hosea and Gomer? Does that Mean We Can Never Ever Get a Divorce Since Hosea Got Back With His Adulterous Wife?

Hosea is a great chapter because it shows us Gods unrelenting love for Israel (and us). Even though Israel disobeys God multiple times and even commits adultery against God (idol worship), God still loves Israel. This is really beautiful and poetic.

But it would be a very serious mistake to take this chapter and assume this is a principle of marriage, divorce, and adultery. It is not. For lessons on that, we must see direct scripture of what Jesus, Paul, and others had to say.

Even if Hosea came out and said we MUST stay married in adultery, does that over-ride Jesus’ own lips? Or Apostle Paul’s lips? I don’t think so. Anyway, Hosea never commands that in the first place. But let us consider a few facts about Hosea & Gomer:

1. God gives Hosea a specific command to marry a harlot (not the whole nation of Israel-only 1 man named Hosea).

2. This marriage is meant to be symbolic of Israel’s marriage (covenant) with God.

3. God uses this marriage to compare his relationship with Israel throughout the whole book of Hosea.

4. Hosea goes and takes his wife back after adultery, and she agrees to stay with him after he “purchased her.” This was due to God’s commanding him do this.

5. God never says we MUST stay with anyone who commits adultery against us. He only commands Hosea to take her back in this case as a symbol. Again, he doesn’t command anyone else BUT Hosea to do this.

So first of all, this whole entire book is really just God giving Israel a message through Hosea. He says Israel has been a “whore” and “whoring after other Gods.” This is compared to his “whore” of a wife. God knew she was a harlot, and yet told Hosea to marry her.

This is symbolic because Hosea’s wife (Gomer) was a prostitute. Then he tells Hosea to name his kids odd names (such as No Mercy, Not my People, etc.) So it is blatantly obvious that God is using this marriage arrangement to make a serious statement to Israel.

The statement is this: Israel, I loved you, and you cheated on me with your other Gods and by disobeying my commands. Therefore, there will be a price to pay. However, there will be redemption in the end!

Back to the story: Hosea & Gomer split up. She apparently gets with another guy (an apparent lover). God commands Hosea to go back and re-take his wife. The man lets Hosea purchase her back, and Hosea and Gomer remain together once more.

God commands this to Hosea:

Then the Lord said to me, “Go again, love a woman who is loved by a lover and is committing adultery, just like the love of the Lord for the children of Israel, who look to other gods and love the raisin cakes of the pagans.” Hosea 3

This is important to note:

1. This book does nothing to prove my interpretation of the bible wrong. In fact, is proves it right. We have the option of getting back with adulterous spouses, however, we also have the option to leave. This case is an exception and a command only for Hosea (not all people).
2. God is saying that while we are granted the option of divorce in adultery, it certainly isn’t REQUIRED.
3. This entire book (while it literally happens), also is symbolic of Israel. God does this entire thing to teach Israel something.
4. God NEVER says we can’t divorce in adultery. He merely tells Hosea to go back to his wife in this one situation. Why? To symbolically show that God returned to his “adulterous love” which is Israel. Again, it is symbolic. Just like when God has Ezekiel eat the scroll. It was a symbolic way to show that God is putting his words in Ezekiel.
5. This entire book does NOTHING to change what happened with Moses, or several hundred years later what Jesus, or Paul taught. Hosea and Gomer were long dead and gone by the time Jesus taught people can divorce on sinful grounds.

In other words, this entire book is a story of a Prophet named Hosea. God uses Hosea to show Israel their sins of adulterous idol worship, and the breaking of God’s laws.

While the story does include a specific command ONLY FOR HOSEA, it didn’t apply to everyone. If you think this means that we are all REQUIRED to go back after adultery, then you should also name your children Jezreel, No Mercy, and Not my people.”

Why? Because God also commanded ONLY HOSEA to do that. So unless you think that applies to everyone what God told only Hosea to do, why do you assume that God’s one command ONLY FOR HOSEA to take back his adulterous wife over-rides what he commands throughout the rest of the whole bible?

It just doesn’t make sense, and is an erroneous interpretation of the scripture. The scriptures are abundantly clear in Old Testament and New that while God despises adultery and sin, he will allow for divorce in certain instances where those things have taken place against an innocent spouse.

What Would You Do In God’s Shoes?

Imagine you have a daughter. You love your daughter so much. Then, your daughter gets married to a nice man. Over time, the man begins to be evil. He rejects religion. He starts to cheat on your daughter, beat her at times, and worse.

You see your daughter miserable and hurt daily by her husbands actions. She loses her confidence, and every night prays for God to take her life because she is so unhappy due to her husbands treatment of her.

Yet, you love your faithful daughter who is good and religious. As a loving mother, do you really want your child to be subjected constantly to sin and adultery? Would that please you? Would you hold it against your daughter if she wanted peace and happiness away from this evil man? Yet God is far better than any of us. His love is much stronger than that we can have.

Now do you get an idea of why God might not hold your daughter accountable if she wanted to divorce this monster she was married to? Now do you understand why Jesus and Paul placed that in the Bible?

This happens every day. People get abused, cheated on, and worse. I have literally watched my own mother get her nose bloodied when I was younger by an abusive husband. I have witnessed women find out their husbands were having wild flings and affairs behind their backs, while they struggle to raise their  husband’s children.

Now why on Earth would you support some innocent person staying in that situation for a lifetime, and try to use Hosea’s one rare command from God (meant only for Hosea and Hosea alone) as an excuse that we are REQUIRED to stay married in that situation, while ignoring all of the Old and New Testament commands taught by Moses, Jesus, Apostle Paul, and so forth? It just doesn’t make sense at all to me.

It is quite obvious that the command to get back with Gomer was a symbolic gesture meant only for Hosea to show God was still in love with Israel despite her adultery.

We all have the choice to stay with an adulterer. If a spouse cheats, the other spouse can choose to forgive, or the they can choose to divorce. That is their choice, as the scriptures teach clearly.

To deny that fact, is literally calling Jesus a liar. It is literally calling God a liar. It is literally calling Paul a liar. Why would we deny these direct and important scriptures concerning marriage?

Final Words on Marriage, Divorce, and Adultery:

We choose who we marry, so we should be careful to marry someone who follows God’s laws, someone we truly love, etc. Marriage should ideally last a lifetime, and this is God’s Holy Plan for marriage.

All of the issues of divorce can be avoided by doing 1 simple thing: LOVE. If there is true love in the marriage, there is no need for sin and divorce. If we all follow God’s commands, we wouldn’t have divorce as an option would we? But sometimes people don’t want to play by the rules.

However, the bible does let us know very clearly that we are not bound to be in misery if a spouse decides to cheat, beat, leave, or other terrible sins. This is not “my law,” this is God’s law. Who cares what I say. But we all better care what God says.

So if someone’s spouse commits adultery, they have the option of reconciling or leaving. That is their biblical option. Ideally, it would be great if they can reconcile.

I am all for people trying to work out their problems and remain together. Sometimes people make (bad) mistakes, but a couple can reconcile and work through it. But if they can’t overcome a terrible sin (such as adultery), then it is acceptable to divorce (as Jesus clearly taught). In other words, they can do it, and it isn’t considered a sin in God’s eyes as long as they have reasonable biblical grounds.

In that situation, the person who was sinned against is free to move on with their life. However, let me stress that the divorce isn’t going to be easy. Plan on a messy lawyer situation, plan on losing a lot of money, plan on permanently harming any potential children involved, and so forth. In other words, there will be consequences involved if you do it, but it is still your choice in that particular situation.

Again, I am very ANTI-DIVORCE. I hate them. It will harm children involved. It will mess up finances. It will leave emotional scars, etc. I hate divorce as much as God does.

But at the same time, we cannot deny that there are some situations in the world in which divorce is completely acceptable (such as rape, incest, abuse, sexual immorality, etc.).

We must teach pro-marriage. We must help those who are married to stay on God’s path for their marriage. However, we can’t ignore what the scripture teaches. The scriptures clearly teach divorce is acceptable in the situations above.

Can we honestly call Jesus a liar? Can we honestly ignore what Jesus taught right there? I don’t think so. And the point is stressed again by Paul and others.

So in summary, you are correct that in this one story God commands a man to get back with a cheating spouse. However, the context is clear that this is a symbolic act, and God only commands Hosea alone to do this. He makes no command that we are all REQUIRED to do this. In fact, the New Testament refutes this idea all-together quite easily.

Thanks again for the question, and God Bless!

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