God please kill me! Take my life and let me die!
Do you ever wish God would simply kill you? Do you sometimes feel so tired of this life that you wish God would end your life, or that perhaps you wish you were never born? If so, you aren’t alone.
Many people go through dark periods filled with deep despair. This life can be so difficult. Losing a loved one, experiencing career or financial trouble, relationship problems, health issues, and more can make you feel as if you want to die. Life can sometimes seem as if it has nothing more to offer us, and that our only hope of peace is to exit this corrupt world. Death seems like the only solution to stop the deep pain and mental anguish.
“God Please Kill Me!” People In the Bible Who Wanted to Die
It may surprise you to learn that some of the biggest “Bible greats” also had moments of craving death. After Moses risked his life to free the Israelites from Egypt, they all began grumbling and whining against him for some meat. This bothered Moses so badly that he said this to God:
Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, ‘Give us meat to eat!’ I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!”
In the book of Job, we see that after Job is stripped of his health, family, and wealth, he laments and curses the day he was born:
Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly?
And Elijah, after embarking on a mission from God, finds himself so depressed that he utters the following:
Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the Gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”
Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die.
“I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.”
1 Kings 19:1-4
Even Jonah, after being swallowed by a great fish for 3 days and preaching to the city of Ninevah, became frustrated that the city repented and was able to avoid God’s wrath. He, too, wishes death upon himself. The story reads as follows:
Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the LORD God provided a leafy plant and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant. But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, “It would be better for me to die than to live.”
But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”
“It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”
But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”
Wanting to Die and Leave This World
Just from those Bible verses alone, it is quite easy to see that even the greatest prophets in the Bible had moments of despair. They all had moments when they threw up their hands and said, “God, please kill me! Take my life, and let me die. I’m done with this pitiful life and corrupt world. I have no reason to live! I want the pain and anguish to stop.”
I think it is a natural human response that when life is overwhelming, we want to give up. We want to press an “exit” button and simply shut down and terminate our lives. And when we turn on the news and see children molested, women raped, people murdered and chopped into pieces, alleged criminals avoiding jail, haters of God, and immoral acts–this world can look pretty hopeless and disgusting.
But we are all here for a purpose, and all things will eventually unfold according to God’s sovereign plan. In the book of Jeremiah, we see that God had plans for Jeremiah before he was even born, and those plans were for eventual good, not evil:
“Before I formed thee in the belly, I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb, I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations” (Jeremiah 1:5, KJV).
“I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end” (Jeremiah 29:11, KJV).
Just as God had a purpose for the men above, he also has a purpose for you in this life. Sure, Moses had a moment of weakness when he wished death on himself, but he marched on to fulfill God’s plan for his life. He’s now considered one of the greatest Bible prophets of the old Testament.
Job lost his health, wealth, and family, but he was blessed by God so much that he eventually got double of everything he had previously lost (except for his kids, because he will be with them in heaven). Elijah may have had his moments of despair, but he eventually rode into the heavens via a whirlwind on a chariot of fire. He, too, is referenced as one of the great prophets. And Jonah, despite wanting to die after going through so much trouble, was able to save a city of over 120,000 with his preaching.
Do You Wish God Would Simply Kill You?
Yes, life gets tough. I have found myself praying for God to kill me during some of the low points of my life (and trust me–I’ve had plenty of them). But I am always glad He didn’t listen after things improved. I imagine that the prophets above were also glad that God didn’t listen, because they would have never experienced the pleasure and honor of fulfilling God’s great plan for their lives.
When you feel as if you want to die, remember that great men (and women) have felt the exact same way. Just like Job, you may lose it all one day–your health, your wealth, and even loved ones. But don’t give up. One day you may have double.
Like Joseph, you could be imprisoned in a strange land one day as a slave, and sitting second in command to a powerful nation the next. You may be sent out of Egypt as a murderer on the run like Moses, and then leading a nation to freedom years later.
In all things, never forget that God has a divine plan, and we are all partakers in His sovereign ways. And when the ways of this world get you down, look up to the risen Christ, and know that God always keeps His promises. One day it will all be worth it, just as it was for the men listed above. Whether in this world or the next, God will bless and keep His children.