Revelation | A Christian Site About Religion, God, Jesus, & the Bible Articles and Answers about God, the Bible, Jesus, Religion, & Theology

I received yet another question regarding marriage, divorce, adultery, and repentance. Here is the question below:

Hi,

I just read your article on adultery (located here).

Q1) Will David’s repentance still be considered as true repentance if Uriah was still alive but David still stayed married to Bathsheba?

I ask this as you know in this day and age we live in. Its quite rare someone would kill so that they can marry someone elses wife/husband. In this age the husband/wife just pick up and leave after they say “I dont love you anymore” etc.

Q2) If Uriah was sill alive what would David had to have done to show true repentance?

Jim

Hello Jim,

First of all, I only allow 1 question at a time. So you are disqualified and must pay a penalty for asking 2 (I’m just kidding with you). I really appreciate your questions.

Divorce and marriage are a sticky topic, and they are easily avoided 100% if both couples simply follow God’s will, which is to love. That is one word that will solve any marriage problem. As long as they love according to God’s way, they will be together until death.

But marriages aren’t always so perfect. People make atrocious mistakes. People sin. People mess up. That is a part of living in the flesh. Sin is a terrible disease that affects us all at times, even people after God’s own heart.

Once again, I know these topics I have written about concerning marriage seem shocking to people (since I get so many questions), but if we are  honest they are 100% scripturally accurate. When we look at difficult questions, we must read the scriptures, and even sometimes read between the lines of the scriptures for those hard topics.

I stand by what I say about marriage 100% in all of the articles I have written about it. Just to briefly clarify, here is my stance:

1. Any married couple should follow God’s laws for a Godly marriage.
2. Divorce should be avoided like the plague and should always be the final or extreme decision, and only in biblical circumstances.
3. The bible DOES give circumstances for a biblical divorce (NT & OT).
4. Adultery is a sin (always has been, always will be).
5. Any sin can be repented for (repentance means a heartfelt apology to God, and turning away from future sinful behavior).
6. Repentance from adultery means to turn away from it. If a person is married and cheating on a spouse–this means turning away from the cheating and reconcile with your spouse. If a person has remarried and an older divorce is finalized and done (and both people have moved on or died), then that means not to commit adultery outside of the current (newer) marriage.
7. Divorce is so bad, that even though it is forgivable, it will have exceptionally high emotional, physical, spiritual, and financial costs associated with it.

Now, giving those basic things, let us look at your questions:

Will David’s repentance still be considered as true repentance if Uriah was still alive but David still stayed married to Bathsheba? 

First you are making several assumptions here, and not considering scripture or what this situation would have been like in reality. Let me also point out the fact that adultery is not a 1-sided act. Bathsheba committed adultery, and David committed adultery. You are aware of that, right? It wasn’t just David. Bathsheba wronged Uriah just as much as David.

In Old Testament and New, adultery is absolutely grounds for a biblical divorce. So first you assume that Uriah is somehow bound to her after she did this (had he lived). He wouldn’t have been bound to her in any way. He could have moved on and remarried (after divorcing her). Or he could have moved on and stayed single (after divorcing her). Or they could have reconciled. Those were their options (had he lived). Of course, David preferred a 4th option (kill him) to make everything easier on himself.

But divorce is easily done since this is the Old Testament we are talking about here. They did a divorce over apparent frivolous reasons (as Jesus critiques this and says):

“Moses allowed you to write a certificate of divorce because of the hardness of your hearts.”

So you assume that Uriah would have wanted to stay with her. That isn’t necessarily the case. He would have been free to divorce and move on with his life, and David and Bathsheba could have still stayed together for all we know. So that is the first assumption you make and aren’t considering. You assume that death is the only way they could have divorced/moved on. It isn’t. They could have divorced, or Uriah could have died. It makes no difference either way.

The second problem is that you aren’t taking into consideration the “time factor.” I have repeatedly mentioned several times that while divorce is OPTIONAL in cases of adultery, they are not MANDATORY. When adultery takes place, couples have the option of trying to work it out within a reasonable time-frame. They also have the option of splitting. Again, this is 100% biblical to get a divorce in the case of sexual immorality unless we are going to start calling Jesus, Moses, and Paul liars.

The article I wrote regarding David and Bathsheba was in response to a question regarding a couple that have long since moved on and the divorce was already completed long ago. The divorce was apparently mutual, and they couples were already re-married to new spouses. That is the scenario I was asked, and that is why I referenced David to say that their NEW marriage was fine if they truly repented.

My reply for that scenario was: when they repented in their new marriage, that new marriage was made Holy just like David and Bathsheba.

So for all we know, Bathsheba could have reconciled with Uriah. Or David could have ended the affair and let her return to her husband (if Uriah wanted, and Bathsheba as well). This could all have taken place the month after the affair. Sure, there are thousands of “what ifs” we can throw around. But don’t you agree that the “time factor” would have motivated a swift decision?

I mean, once Uriah found out, he surely would have either divorced or reconciled. It isn’t like he would have taken years to decide what to do, and David and Bathsheba would have carried on as usual. No, not at all. They would have either reconciled (and the adultery would have stopped with David right then), or he would have divorced her (and she would be free to be with David). In any event, this would have happened within days, or weeks. Not years. That is the reality. So your question misses the reality of what would have happened.

And if you are asking how David would have repented if he was still committing adultery while Uriah was alive and they kept it “going on under the table.”–then that is easy. David’s repentance would have meant stop sleeping with a married woman. In that case, that would have been an active and ongoing case of adultery. But a biblical divorce or death nullifies a marriage. A biblical divorce is the same as death. Had Uriah exercised his right to biblically divorce her, it is the same as if he had died.

But we don’t have crystal balls to think of the 10 million “what if” circumstances that could have happened in their situation or the tons of marriages in the world. But what we do have is the “what happened” account given in the scriptures.  I have no qualms with a couple reconciling in cases of adultery, and in fact I encourage it if possible.

But when the couples go through with the biblical divorce (which kills the marriage), and move on, why should we assume that they must reconcile with each other or remain alone after repentance in a newly formed marriage (especially if an ex-spouse later dies, or remarries, or changes their name, or moves states, or moves countries, etc.)?

That is what people don’t understand about my article you are referencing. I am talking about a situation where people have long since moved on, and remarried after a previous biblical divorce. What I say is the same: Their new marriage (while possibly sinful to begin with), is sanctified when they repent. This is EXACTLY what happened with David. It makes no consequence whether it was a divorce or death.

Again, this is a situation where the couple moved on, got remarried, and later repented and turned their life to Christ & God. I said that when they repented, their new marriage was made Holy. For them to truly repent, they mustn’t commit adultery again by going outside of their current marriage. Their old marriage has passed away. It doesn’t matter if the other (previously divorced) ex-spouse is still living, or simply did not want to reconcile, or is remarried, or whatever. It doesn’t make a difference. In either situation, the old marriage has passed away. It is dead, even if both ex-spouses are living.

So let me give you a scenario to illustrate what I mean (as I know this can get confusing). Johnny is a bad man. He cheated on his wife (Sally). Sally got mad, and didn’t want to reconcile. They couldn’t work it out, and she exercised her right to divorce based on the bible (as Johnny was a frequent cheater anyway).

Sally moves on with her life and does her own thing and re-marries. Johnny doesn’t even know where she lives after a few years. Years later, Johnny remarries. He finds a nice girl. Then one day, Johnny and his new wife (Jenny), decide they want to live for God. They repent, and want to do well in their life.

Now, let me stop right here. Do you mean to tell me that Johnny must now divorce Jenny, go back and pursue Sally (who doesn’t want him back and doesn’t have to take him back anyway (biblically), and even has re-married herself)? Is that what you are telling me? He should hire a Private Eye and track down Sally and force her into a re-marriage since he repented? Absolutely NOT.

Or do you mean to tell me that Johnny and Jenny (his new wife) should get a divorce and Johnny should be alone for the rest of his life after repenting and wanting to live a Godly life, just to be safe? And they should go ahead and split the assets again, and go through the legal hoops to get a messy divorce again because he chose to repent? So Johnny would be divorcing his 2nd wife only because he repented? Ridiculous!

And yet, there are tons of these situations that happen. People have done stupid things, and then later want to turn to God and follow Christ. Are we to have them immediately divorce? Can you honestly tell me that with sincerity and a straight face after reading the scriptures that either of those two scenarios above should be done?

You are not understanding what happened with David! If you say “yes” to either of those 2 ridiculous examples of what Johnny should do above, then why on Earth didn’t God make David do the same? He repented (and the bible is clear on that), yet God considers their marriage Holy, and even blesses it via Kingship of their union! David stays with Bathsheba until death.

Do you think that is really what God wants is for Johnny to divorce Jenny and reconcile with Sally (who doesn’t even want him, could be dead, or perhaps re-married herself)? Or would God want Johnny and Jenny to honor their new marriage, never commit adultery again outside of their current marriage, and live for God in a loving marriage? I tell you the truth, this is God’s will. God would want Johnny and Jenny to stay married as he did with David, and to do God’s will together and love one another.

If God sanctified David’s marriage that was built on murder, lies, and adultery, can you really make a case that he won’t forgive others who made similar stupid mistakes, but genuinely want to repent as David did? Come on, Jim. I think we both know the scriptures cannot be bent in this regard. We must take them as they are, and read between the lines.

Is it terrible how people abuse divorce, and how they allow the disease known as divorce to rip apart peoples families and lives? Of course it is. I hate it as much as any other Christian. But we must be reasonable and search the scriptures in cases where people have long since moved on, remarried, and repented. What would God have them do? Divorce? Leave? Or would God simply sanctify their new marriage as he did David? Bingo, we have a winner.

I can’t in any way see God wanting to break up that marriage that I gave in the example above. When they repented, their slate of sins was wiped clean. Their new marriage was honored by God JUST LIKE DAVID & BATHSHEBA. If God forgave a marriage built on lies, murder, and adultery….don’t you think a couple that has repented would be fine to stay married too?

It doesn’t make a difference if Uriah was dead, or if he just divorced her. If he did want her, then that is between him and Bathsheba. Bathsheba had a free will in this too, you know. Your question is almost as if Bathsheba didn’t have a will, and King David was her brain or something. It takes 2 to tango.

Had she not really liked David in the first place, she could have resisted his seduction like Sarah resisted the charm of the Pharaoh when Abraham told him she was his sister. So Bathsheba has no excuse in all of this. She is NOT a victim here. She was a willing participant.

If Uriah was sill alive what would David had to have done to show true repentance?

Again, I basically touched on this in the paragraphs above. If Uriah wanted a divorce, it was biblical. A biblical divorce kills the marriage. That would have been a biblical divorce for them (adultery). So here are the possible scenarios:

1. Uriah was alive, and wanted to reconcile with Bathsheba, and Bathsheba agreed—In this situation, David has nothing to do with them. They are 2 humans with a free will. So if Bathsheba & Uriah both wanted to reconcile, they could have. David could have repented later about the incident, and Bathsheba could have too. David & Bathsheba’s relationship would have ended.  Then her and Uriah could have had a nice long happy life together. Reconciliation in adultery is OPTIONAL (and preferred), but not required. It is preferred in many cases, but if both parties aren’t willing, a divorce is biblical in that case.
2. If Bathsheba wanted to reconcile with Uriah, but Uriah declined & divorced–Again, the marriage bond would be over. Uriah is free to move on. Bathsheba would have obviously sinned. But if her and David were married and later repented, their marriage would be counted righteous by God after the repentance (as it was after Uriah’s murder).
3. If Uriah wanted to reconcile, but Bathsheba didn’t–Who but God alone knows what would have happened in this case? Perhaps David would have sent Bathsheba back to Uriah anyway after he realized his fault (if Bathsheba was willing). Perhaps Bathsheba would have resisted and Uriah would have divorced her eventually due to this, or Bathsheba could have somehow divorced Uriah? We don’t know. We could only speculate. That is why I say we must consider the “time factor.” If the event had just happened, obviously they would have found a solution to this quickly (whether it be divorce, reconciliation, etc.). After that, there would have never been an issue at all. Either they would have reconciled or divorced. If they reconciled, the issue is solved. If Uriah and Bathsheba divorced, David would have continued to marry her (most likely) and the issue is solved. Uriah would have moved on, and David and Bathsheba’s marriage would have been sanctified by God after they repented.

My Views on Your Comment About Frivolous Divorces

 Jim, you also made this comment, and I think you hit the nail right on the head with this one:

I ask this as you know in this day and age we live in. Its quite rare someone would kill so that they can marry someone elses wife/husband. In this age the husband/wife just pick up and leave after they say “I dont love you anymore” etc.

Yes, the sad truth is most people divorce because they are “tired” of their spouse. They have lost that loving feeling so to speak. They see other younger/richer/more attractive people, and want to ditch their current spouse for some new excitement.

This is a Grade A sin! I too get annoyed with lazy Christians (or non-Christians) who want to play the “SIN and REPENT” game. You know, that game where they try to rationalize their bad behavior by saying something along the lines of, “Well, I know it would be a sin to do this…BUT, I can repent later on and be forgiven.”

This is dangerous thinking. I know you are concerned about people abusing marriage and divorce rules, but don’t be. If someone is going to disobey God, they are going to pay a price (even if they are forgiven). It doesn’t matter if they think they can sin & repent or not. God knows their hearts and rationalizations, and will judge them by this. If someone wants to sin, they are going to do it regardless of any scripture. And sadly, they will pay a very hard price for that sin. So even if they think they will sin and be forgiven, they also need to consider the FULL COST of the sins.

NEVER do I say that people can commit adultery, and NEVER do I suggest people should get a frivolous divorce. So I just want to be clear on that. The article you are talking about is a scenario of people who have long been divorced, and later re-married.

God forgave Adam and Eve for their disobedience, but it still cost them paradise and their own life (they died physically). David was forgiven for his sins, but it cost him his child with Bathsheba, and other things.

And so when your friends, church congregation, celebrities, and others have a frivolous divorces, and they think they can play the sin and repent game, they should think again. The physical, spiritual, and emotional costs will be SKY HIGH. Their sins will be writing checks that their souls won’t be able to cash!

They will have to split assets, be humiliated, emotionally harm themselves & their children, and who knows what other things God may do to make them pay? So again, people who want to make silly excuses to divorce for silly reasons will pay a hefty price. That is guaranteed. I don’t want people to divorce any more than you, God, or any other Christian. But people are going to sin. It is a fact of life.

Again, my whole article that you asked me about is in regards to “What happens after a person wants to repent from a bad situation.” That is why I say, it is biblical to stay with the current spouse in that particular situation, and sin no more.

Just because God may forgive a sin later, doesn’t mean they won’t pay a hefty price in the process. David sinned, and God forgave him & eventually sanctified his marriage. But David payed!

How can all of this be avoided? Simply follow God’s will. That’s it. What is God’s will? Love. Jesus said the most important commandment was to love the Lord God with all of your heart, mind and soul. and the second was , “Love thy neighbor.”

Those are really the only 2 commands we need. For if we all did that, we wouldn’t need laws for adultery, divorce, etc. Adultery would never happen in the first place if a spouse totally and completely loves the other spouse, and the other spouse reciprocates that love.

Conclusion: How to Repent from a Divorce, King David, and More:

Let me just stress one more time that when I am speaking of King David’s case, I am not saying it is a free ticket for people to divorce and remarry. What I am simply saying is that adultery is a forgivable sin, because I am 100% scripturally accurate to say that King David was forgiven and repented, yet was able to keep his wife (and it wasn’t a sin).

I am also saying that in a situation where 2 previously divorced people marry new people, and repent, they DO NOT need to divorce again, or attempt to reconcile with the past failed marriage in order to “truly repent.” Reconciliation should have happened a long time before if there was any hope between the ex-spouses. At this point I am speaking about, the ex-couples would have moved on long ago, and the new couple would have married (much like David & Bathsheba’s case).

The old marriage would have passed away. The new marriage would be sanctified by God when the genuine repentance takes place, and they must not commit adultery again by going outside of the current marriage. If they did, they would be sinning.

That is biblical (as in David’s case), and that makes perfect sense. Why would God force them to divorce? He certainly didn’t with David. What would be the benefit? It would only cause more destruction down the line.

Someone tried to suggest a situation of Gomer and Hosea, and that is obviously a unique symbolic marriage, and we cannot use that for comparison for marriage in general (for one reason, because obviously God does not command us all to marry prostitutes and name our kids those things). So if we are going to take Gomer and Hosea as a literal book, then we must also marry prostitutes, and so forth. In other words, this book is a special command for Hosea, and God uses the whole thing to make a point. It is not an instructional guide for marriage. It is a prophecy meant to symbolically show Israel’s ”adultery” with other gods. 

I thank you again for your question Jim, and I really appreciate it. Again, divorce is terrible, but in some cases, biblical. Sometimes, couples choose to remarry after divorce. This again is “causing to commit an act of adultery” as Jesus said. But we must reasonably ask ourselves, “Can adultery be forgiven?” When we see David’s story, we see that YES, adultery can be forgiven, and an adulterous or sinful marriage can even be sanctified after repentance as was David’s.

Sponsored Links

Posted under Ask a Question, bible questions, marriage and divorce

Wow-marriage, divorce, and adultery seem to be “THE ISSUES” of today. It seems that out of hundreds of posts, those are the most viewed pages, and the most asked about topic recently. Furthermore, I received yet another question regarding the whole adultery divorce issue. Here is the question:

Your website says God allows for divorce in the case of adultery. What about Hosea and Gomer? Didn’t God send Hosea after his adulterous wife?

-Lucretia

First of all, I would like to thank you for your question Lucretia! I really appreciate you taking the time to ask, and I hope God is blessing you in your life. I will specifically address your question, and talk a little about the whole issue. First, let me clear up a couple of things:

1. I believe in marriage. I am a happily married man, and the only thing that will end my marriage is death (not divorce).
2. I believe in God’s plan for marriage, and also his rules.
3. Having been a victim of divorced parents, I don’t particularly like divorce.
4. Divorces carry terrible consequences for anyone who decides to get one (financial, mental, physical). People should avoid divorces like the swine flu! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

With that being said, I need to correct one slight thing: You said in your question: “Your website says God allows for divorce in the case of adultery.”

I need to correct that, because it doesn’t matter what my website says, it matters what God says. I didn’t make the rules for marriage, divorce, and adultery. God made the rules. The only thing my website does is discuss these passages in the Bible, and offer additional commentary.  The bible quite clearly lays out grounds for a biblical divorce (my website isn’t needed to say that, the bible says it well enough on its own). Jesus own lips say it in a very direct way. There is no more my website needs to add to make it any more or less valid.

What Did Jesus Say About Divorce In Adultery?

Jesus says this very clear-cut remark with his own lips:

But I say to you, any man who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31)

It doesn’t matter which copy of the Bible you pick up, check it out for yourself. Jesus said that. He clearly says that a divorce is a sin because it causes someone to commit adultery, UNLESS adultery/sexual immorality has been committed. In that case, a divorce is acceptable.

In other words, if Bobby committed adultery against his wife (Suzy), Suzy has the OPTION (not requirement) to divorce Bobby. It would not be a sin in that situation, because Jesus is clearly saying Suzy doesn’t have to put up with Bobby’s cheating ways. Jesus makes this abundantly clear in the passage above.

Furthermore, in the Old Testament God allowed Moses to declare a certificate of divorce for any man who wanted to put away his wife due to uncleanliness.

Jesus references this law in the New Testament, and says that God only allowed it at the time because “of the hardness of their hearts.” He goes on to say that it wasn’t always this way, and what God puts together, no man should put apart.

However, he makes it clear that if a spouse breaks the bonds of marriage by being adulterous, the other spouse is not REQUIRED to remain in marital bonds. They can choose to end the marriage in divorce. Again, this is an option, not a requirement or command.

Even the apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 that:

15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

So God dictates in the OT rules for an appropriate divorce, Jesus reiterates God’s rules for a biblical divorce in the New Testament, and Paul even further says we are not forced to stay with a spouse who is “unbelieving or sinning against us and God.”

So I just want to make it clear: These aren’t my ideas of a marriage. These are God’s ideas for a marriage, as dictated in the Bible. He would have us remain faithful and loyal and happy our entire life. God hates divorce. It is never his plan. However, humans have a way of messing up God’s plans. Therefore, God does allow for divorce in extreme situations of marital infidelity/sin.

Divorce is one option that is granted in the situation of a “mess up” by another spouse. Again, it is important to realize that divorce is not REQUIRED, but it is OPTIONAL in the situations the bible deems and defines as appropriate.

I get a lot of questions concerning this, such as Is Adultery forgivable? The truth is, any sin is forgivable if we repent. If not, we are all in trouble! But back to your question. You asked about Hosea and Gomer.

But What About Hosea and Gomer? Does that Mean We Can Never Ever Get a Divorce Since Hosea Got Back With His Adulterous Wife?

Hosea is a great chapter because it shows us Gods unrelenting love for Israel (and us). Even though Israel disobeys God multiple times and even commits adultery against God (idol worship), God still loves Israel. This is really beautiful and poetic.

But it would be a very serious mistake to take this chapter and assume this is a principle of marriage, divorce, and adultery. It is not. For lessons on that, we must see direct scripture of what Jesus, Paul, and others had to say.

Even if Hosea came out and said we MUST stay married in adultery, does that over-ride Jesus’ own lips? Or Apostle Paul’s lips? I don’t think so. Anyway, Hosea never commands that in the first place. But let us consider a few facts about Hosea & Gomer:

1. God gives Hosea a specific command to marry a harlot (not the whole nation of Israel-only 1 man named Hosea).

2. This marriage is meant to be symbolic of Israel’s marriage (covenant) with God.

3. God uses this marriage to compare his relationship with Israel throughout the whole book of Hosea.

4. Hosea goes and takes his wife back after adultery, and she agrees to stay with him after he “purchased her.” This was due to God’s commanding him do this.

5. God never says we MUST stay with anyone who commits adultery against us. He only commands Hosea to take her back in this case as a symbol. Again, he doesn’t command anyone else BUT Hosea to do this.

So first of all, this whole entire book is really just God giving Israel a message through Hosea. He says Israel has been a “whore” and “whoring after other Gods.” This is compared to his “whore” of a wife. God knew she was a harlot, and yet told Hosea to marry her.

This is symbolic because Hosea’s wife (Gomer) was a prostitute. Then he tells Hosea to name his kids odd names (such as No Mercy, Not my People, etc.) So it is blatantly obvious that God is using this marriage arrangement to make a serious statement to Israel.

The statement is this: Israel, I loved you, and you cheated on me with your other Gods and by disobeying my commands. Therefore, there will be a price to pay. However, there will be redemption in the end!

Back to the story: Hosea & Gomer split up. She apparently gets with another guy (an apparent lover). God commands Hosea to go back and re-take his wife. The man lets Hosea purchase her back, and Hosea and Gomer remain together once more.

God commands this to Hosea:

Then the Lord said to me, “Go again, love a woman who is loved by a lover and is committing adultery, just like the love of the Lord for the children of Israel, who look to other gods and love the raisin cakes of the pagans.” Hosea 3

This is important to note:

1. This book does nothing to prove my interpretation of the bible wrong. In fact, is proves it right. We have the option of getting back with adulterous spouses, however, we also have the option to leave. This case is an exception and a command only for Hosea (not all people).
2. God is saying that while we are granted the option of divorce in adultery, it certainly isn’t REQUIRED.
3. This entire book (while it literally happens), also is symbolic of Israel. God does this entire thing to teach Israel something.
4. God NEVER says we can’t divorce in adultery. He merely tells Hosea to go back to his wife in this one situation. Why? To symbolically show that God returned to his “adulterous love” which is Israel. Again, it is symbolic. Just like when God has Ezekiel eat the scroll. It was a symbolic way to show that God is putting his words in Ezekiel.
5. This entire book does NOTHING to change what happened with Moses, or several hundred years later what Jesus, or Paul taught. Hosea and Gomer were long dead and gone by the time Jesus taught people can divorce on sinful grounds.

In other words, this entire book is a story of a Prophet named Hosea. God uses Hosea to show Israel their sins of adulterous idol worship, and the breaking of God’s laws.

While the story does include a specific command ONLY FOR HOSEA, it didn’t apply to everyone. If you think this means that we are all REQUIRED to go back after adultery, then you should also name your children Jezreel, No Mercy, and Not my people.”

Why? Because God also commanded ONLY HOSEA to do that. So unless you think that applies to everyone what God told only Hosea to do, why do you assume that God’s one command ONLY FOR HOSEA to take back his adulterous wife over-rides what he commands throughout the rest of the whole bible?

It just doesn’t make sense, and is an erroneous interpretation of the scripture. The scriptures are abundantly clear in Old Testament and New that while God despises adultery and sin, he will allow for divorce in certain instances where those things have taken place against an innocent spouse.

What Would You Do In God’s Shoes?

Imagine you have a daughter. You love your daughter so much. Then, your daughter gets married to a nice man. Over time, the man begins to be evil. He rejects religion. He starts to cheat on your daughter, beat her at times, and worse.

You see your daughter miserable and hurt daily by her husbands actions. She loses her confidence, and every night prays for God to take her life because she is so unhappy due to her husbands treatment of her.

Yet, you love your faithful daughter who is good and religious. As a loving mother, do you really want your child to be subjected constantly to sin and adultery? Would that please you? Would you hold it against your daughter if she wanted peace and happiness away from this evil man? Yet God is far better than any of us. His love is much stronger than that we can have.

Now do you get an idea of why God might not hold your daughter accountable if she wanted to divorce this monster she was married to? Now do you understand why Jesus and Paul placed that in the Bible?

This happens every day. People get abused, cheated on, and worse. I have literally watched my own mother get her nose bloodied when I was younger by an abusive husband. I have witnessed women find out their husbands were having wild flings and affairs behind their backs, while they struggle to raise their  husband’s children.

Now why on Earth would you support some innocent person staying in that situation for a lifetime, and try to use Hosea’s one rare command from God (meant only for Hosea and Hosea alone) as an excuse that we are REQUIRED to stay married in that situation, while ignoring all of the Old and New Testament commands taught by Moses, Jesus, Apostle Paul, and so forth? It just doesn’t make sense at all to me.

It is quite obvious that the command to get back with Gomer was a symbolic gesture meant only for Hosea to show God was still in love with Israel despite her adultery.

We all have the choice to stay with an adulterer. If a spouse cheats, the other spouse can choose to forgive, or the they can choose to divorce. That is their choice, as the scriptures teach clearly.

To deny that fact, is literally calling Jesus a liar. It is literally calling God a liar. It is literally calling Paul a liar. Why would we deny these direct and important scriptures concerning marriage?

Final Words on Marriage, Divorce, and Adultery:

We choose who we marry, so we should be careful to marry someone who follows God’s laws, someone we truly love, etc. Marriage should ideally last a lifetime, and this is God’s Holy Plan for marriage.

All of the issues of divorce can be avoided by doing 1 simple thing: LOVE. If there is true love in the marriage, there is no need for sin and divorce. If we all follow God’s commands, we wouldn’t have divorce as an option would we? But sometimes people don’t want to play by the rules.

However, the bible does let us know very clearly that we are not bound to be in misery if a spouse decides to cheat, beat, leave, or other terrible sins. This is not “my law,” this is God’s law. Who cares what I say. But we all better care what God says.

So if someone’s spouse commits adultery, they have the option of reconciling or leaving. That is their biblical option. Ideally, it would be great if they can reconcile.

I am all for people trying to work out their problems and remain together. Sometimes people make (bad) mistakes, but a couple can reconcile and work through it. But if they can’t overcome a terrible sin (such as adultery), then it is acceptable to divorce (as Jesus clearly taught). In other words, they can do it, and it isn’t considered a sin in God’s eyes as long as they have reasonable biblical grounds.

In that situation, the person who was sinned against is free to move on with their life. However, let me stress that the divorce isn’t going to be easy. Plan on a messy lawyer situation, plan on losing a lot of money, plan on permanently harming any potential children involved, and so forth. In other words, there will be consequences involved if you do it, but it is still your choice in that particular situation.

Again, I am very ANTI-DIVORCE. I hate them. It will harm children involved. It will mess up finances. It will leave emotional scars, etc. I hate divorce as much as God does.

But at the same time, we cannot deny that there are some situations in the world in which divorce is completely acceptable (such as rape, incest, abuse, sexual immorality, etc.).

We must teach pro-marriage. We must help those who are married to stay on God’s path for their marriage. However, we can’t ignore what the scripture teaches. The scriptures clearly teach divorce is acceptable in the situations above.

Can we honestly call Jesus a liar? Can we honestly ignore what Jesus taught right there? I don’t think so. And the point is stressed again by Paul and others.

So in summary, you are correct that in this one story God commands a man to get back with a cheating spouse. However, the context is clear that this is a symbolic act, and God only commands Hosea alone to do this. He makes no command that we are all REQUIRED to do this. In fact, the New Testament refutes this idea all-together quite easily.

Thanks again for the question, and God Bless!

Sponsored Links

Posted under Ask a Question, bible questions, marriage and divorce