Is remarriage only permissible after the death of a spouse? Can a Christian get remarried if they experienced a divorce for any reason? What if a spouse cheated on them? What if the spouse abandoned them? What if they simply didn’t want to be with the spouse?
Biblical Grounds for Divorce
First, it may be helpful to remember that the Bible only suggests two reasons for a Biblical divorce:
- Option 1: Fornication, which means adultery, incest, bestiality, prostitution, or other types of sexual immorality that was physically committed during the marriage. Jesus does not COMMAND divorce in this case, but He does PERMIT it. Couples should seek pastoral counseling and try to work through problems before divorcing. Divorce should only be a “last resort,” and it is often best to remain married. Many people can pick up the pieces of a broken marriage and experience God’s healing.
Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
- Option 2: Abandonment of an unbelieving spouse:
1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
Those two reasons listed above are the only two Biblical reasons for a divorce. If you divorced a spouse for any other reason, it was an unbiblical divorce. Of course, it goes without saying that death also ends a marriage union, but divorce is required for that.
Christians are commanded not to divorce for any other reason.
It is possible that a case involving continued and serious physical abuse may also be grounds for divorce, but the Bible does not specifically address the issue. In those instances, a period of separation may be preferred and reconciliation sought over time, especially if the individual repents. If the guilty individual does not change, he or she will likely either commit adultery or abandon the innocent spouse at some point, in which case the other two options for divorce will take precedent.
Moreover, individuals who are victims of severe, life-threatening abuse should contact the authorities immediately to have the abusive person chastised by the government, for that is one of the reasons God instituted government (Romans 13:4). Never should the safety of a child or spouse be placed at risk. Even Jesus sought safety when they tried to execute Him before His time.
Biblical Grounds for Remarriage
The Bible (either implicitly or explicitly) gives three possible reasons for a remarriage. One reason is explicitly stated, and the other two are inferred, but many conservative preachers and churches teach that it is permissible in those two inferred cases:
- Death of a spouse. Scriptures clearly and explicitly state that when a spouse dies, the surviving spouse is released from the marriage contract. We are not required to remarry (remaining single may be the best option), but we can remarry if we so choose:
“So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man” (Romans 7:3).
- Remarriage after adultery. As indicated below, fornication (sexual immorality) is a potential reason for a Biblical divorce. If the innocent person divorces a spouse for reasons of fornication (sexual impurity), the passage indicates that remarriage in this case would not be considered adultery. No mention is made whether the guilty party can remarry, but it seems as if they may not have that privilege.
Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
- Abandonment by unbelievers. If a Christian is married to an unbeliever, and the unbeliever wants to leave the marriage, they are no longer under bondage (see below). In this case, the Christian should wait for a reasonable period of time to allow for the possibility of reconciliation to take place, as this does often happen. However, if there is no hope of reconciliation (the person moves far away or marries) most conservative preachers agree that abandoned Christians can remarry for two reasons:
- Abandonment will almost always include marital unfaithfulness, in which case Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 take precedent.
- All spouses are entitled to remarry in the event of the death of the other spouse. When abandoned, the innocent spouse may never know if or when the other spouse dies. Therefore, they should be able to exercise their right to remarry as if they spouse has died.
1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
Those are the only three possible circumstances under which a person may seek another Biblical marriage. The Bible does exhort us to seek the Lord’s will in the matter. In fact, Paul tells us that if we remain unmarried, we can devote more time to the Lord, and he strongly encourages single individuals to remain that way. Nevertheless, if individuals have the Biblical right to remarriage, they are permitted to do so:
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9).
Finally, we cannot forget that when a Christian does have Biblical grounds for a remarriage, that remarriage MUST be to another Christian. It is a sin to enter a marriage with an unbeliever:
“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39; Emphasis mine).
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Furthermore, a person who was divorced, remarried to another person, and divorced again, should not return to their original spouse:
Deuteronomy 24:4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.
Conclusion: Remarriage is Permissible
In conclusion, remarriage is possible when a spouse dies, or if there was a Biblical divorce. However, this is not something a person should do lightly. Many second (or third) marriages fail. There is often the added strain of children, finances, and more.
Remaining single may be the best option. I would highly recommend much study of the scriptures, much prayer, and counseling by a Godly pastor.